What’s the Point of a Pause?

May 14th, 2012

I hear a lot these days about the importance of pausing when you speak. It’s not a new concept, but it’s become a popular point of focus for speech coaches. “Pause for one second after every sentence. Pause for two seconds before moving on to a new point.” And so on…

That’s fine advice, but it presents a problem if you’re not used to pausing. What do you do while you pause? It has to be more than just the absence of words. You can’t practice “not doing” something.

So what do you do when you pause? You breathe. If speech is powered by breath, if breath is the “inspiration” for speech, there has to be time for breath to enter your body. Breathing creates the pause.

That in-breath provides not just the power for your voice, but it connects you to your inner experience, the impulse that moves you to speak in the first place. My colleague, Louis Colaianni, expressed it so elegantly when he said, “The incoming breath reveals how you feel. The outgoing breath expresses how you feel.”

So the pause isn’t just dead air-time. When it’s connected to your breath it’s alive with potential and expectation. You needn’t worry about sounding slow or being boring when you pause. It creates anticipation.

Pausing to breathe in enhances the clarity of your speech. Your listeners have time to actually absorb what you say. According to John Miers, “the actual process of communication takes place in the silence.”

From where I stand, the biggest benefit of the breath-pause is that it keeps you in command of your performance. Many speakers are unconsciously rushing themselves. They start to feel like someone running down a steep hill. Before long they’re out of control. Then panic sets in. Pausing frequently to breathe brings a very deliberate feeling to your speech. You have plenty of time to think, to speak clearly and connect with your listeners. You might actually enjoy the experience.

So much advice about public speaking and presentation is an attempt to produce the right result without understanding what’s going on under the surface to make that result possible. That tendency to focus on results has us putting the cart before the horse. Pausing isn’t just another point on your presentation checklist. It’s an organic part of a larger process that cultivates a deep connection to your self, your message and your listeners.

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There’s No “Right” Place to Breathe!

April 15th, 2012

“Breathe in the right place.”
“Breathe where it makes sense.”
“Breathe only at the punctuation.”

These precious gems of grade school wisdom are huge hidden traps for anyone learning to breathe well, as a speaker.

Your voice is a wind instrument. It requires generous amounts of breath to work optimally. If there’s inadequate breath in the system, everything suffers, and I mean everything. If there’s no breath to flow the sound out of your body, your only choice is to start squeezing sound from your body. You don’t feel good, you don’t sound good and you have no impact on your listeners.

The only “right” time to breathe is when you need to breathe. I don’t care whether you’re at the end of a sentence, the end of a phrase, or even in the middle of a phrase. The instant you feel that “I need a breath” feeling, you pause, allow a new breath into your body, and then resume speaking. Your need to breathe always takes precedence over the demands of the text.

That’s the difficult part for a beginner: letting go of those ingrained rules long enough to explore and master the universal principles governing voice and speech. When you’re too busy obeying the rules and “doing it right,” you can’t give yourself room to experiment and learn something truly new.

If you give yourself time and space to master the technique (connecting deep breath to sound), the application (speaking and phrasing) will emerge naturally, effortlessly and authentically.

So, long before you worry about whether you’re breathing in the right place, you should learn to

  • breathe deeply
  • release breath easily
  • experience sound  as vibrating breath
  • release sound easily and generously
  • feel words and phrases as sound vibration
  • honor the rhythm of breathing and speaking

When those skills feel natural, you can begin to explore the connection between breathing, speaking and the demands of the text. But you’ll come at it with radically different priorities, and you’ll find there’s a lot more flexibility in that relationship than most people realize.

A rule says, “You must do it this way.” A principle says, “This works… and has through all remembered time.” The difference is crucial… Anxious, inexperienced writers obey rules. Rebellious, unschooled writers break rules. Artists master the form. —Robert McKee, Story: Substance, Structure, Style and the Principles of Screenwriting

That’s not just true for writing, it’s true for breathing and speaking, too.

Back away from the need to produce the “right” result. Practice is not performing. Learning is not about getting it right. Spend time experimenting and cultivating crucial skills. When you command your own breath, you control your own process. You perform the task of speaking and presenting with a sense of confidence and ease. You’re in charge.

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FEMALE VOICES: Common Speech Problems for Women

February 16th, 2012

I’ve often thought about writing a post on common issues with women’s voices, but hesitated, fearing I might bring the wrath of the gender police crashing down on my head. But then I thought, “Hey, as long as I write a companion post on men’s voices—which might actually be longer, why would anyone accuse me of being unfair?”

Then an article by Katrina Onstad appeared in the Toronto Globe & Mail, “Up High or Down Low: What a woman’s voice says about her,” and I thought, “Okay, it’s out in the open. People are obviously interested. Maybe it’s not the minefield I imagine it to be.” Ms. Onstad didn’t quote any experts, but she obviously did her research. The first problem she identified, having a high-pitched voice, would certainly make my Top-Three list of  speech problems for women, so let’s start there.

Having a voice that sounds high is a common problem facing my female clients. Consequently, they fail to project an image of authority and credibility. Listeners tend to associate high voices with youth, inexperience and even weakness. Opinions are dismissed and accomplishments are overlooked. Unfair? Absolutely. But remember, listeners aren’t acting rationally. They respond based on how that voice makes them feel. For strategies to enhance the perception of vocal depth, see the article, “Discovering a Deeper Voice.”

Having a voice that lacks strength or volume would be second issue confronting my female clients. It’s a serious handicap if your listeners routinely struggle to hear what you’re saying. The consequences are very similar to the one’s we’ve just discussed. Yes, there are many situations where a soft, quiet voice might be an advantage, but when the environment becomes more competitive and interactions become more assertive, a small voice is a big problem. For strategies to strengthen your voice, see the article, “Your Strong Voice.”

A third problem facing many female speakers is up-speak, a tendency to pitch the ends of sentences up instead of down. Since it’s a common characteristic of teenagers’ speech, it diminishes the perception of strength, confidence and authority in the communication of adults. In English, up-speak is appropriate for questions (e.g. “Did you like that?”), and for lists (e.g “I went to the store, the bank, the gym, and then home.”). But statements are generally inflected downward (e.g. “This is the way it’s done.”). When you catch yourself using up-speak, say the phrase or sentence again, deliberately inflecting the tone downward at the end. Notice how this makes your delivery feel stronger and more definite.

We could also talk about vocal fry, the tendency to speak with a slightly raspy or scratchy tone, especially at the ends of sentences. Men tend to do this just as often as women—maybe more often, but that doesn’t make it okay. Vocal fry is also very common among adolescents, so it can convey a sense of reserve and uncertainty for business professionals. Listeners might not be conscious of what they’re hearing, but they’re still left with the feeling that the speaker is holding back and not willing to engage fully in the interaction. See the article, “Vocal Fry,” for a more detailed explanation and recommendations for eliminating this trait.

Of course the four issues I’ve mentioned are not unique to women’s voices; they show up with my male clients as well, in varying degrees of frequency. But when I consider the vocal challenges confronting my female clients, over all the years I’ve been in practice, these few show up most often. The good news is, none of them are mysterious or difficult to fix. With a bit of technique and ongoing practice and awareness, every woman can cultivate a voice that’s strong, clear, resonant and effective.

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IMPACT: It’s a Product of Wind Power

January 18th, 2012

When someone asks what I do for my clients, I rely on this mnemonic: CCRRS. It stands for clarity, confidence, rate, resonance and strength. Those are the top five elements most clients want to improve. Number six would be impact. Every once in a while, someone says to me, “I just want to have more impact as a speaker.”

To make an impact as a speaker, you’ve got to put something out there, right? And obviously your voice is the major vehicle for that process. Since the voice is a wind instrument, that means spending breath as you speak. So, at a concrete physical level, making an impact involves putting your breath into the room. Generously.

You’d be surprised how often you hold back your breath when you speak. Need proof? Take a deep breath, say a phrase or sentence out loud, and notice how much breath you have left at the end. Why don’t you use all your breath? Isn’t it odd that, in the very act of reaching out to make a connection, you unconsciously hold back? You probably aren’t aware of it. You certainly don’t mean to do it. But those old habits are always there, working in opposition to your intention, undermining your impact.

One of the best ways to learn the feeling of generously giving away your breath is to play with lip flutters. It’s difficult to describe what I mean, so I’ll just show you. video 1 It’s almost impossible to flutter your lips and hold back at the same time. You’ve got to go for it. You’ve got to put your breath out there, generously, and allow it to happen. It’s a very concrete, physical way to discover the feeling of being fully engaged and available whenever you speak.

When that’s easy and comfortable, with no sense of pushing or forcing, add voice to the lip flutter. video 2  (Some find this easier than lip flutters with just breath. If that’s true for you, you might skip the first step—but you can’t skip this step.) Are you giving away your breath as generously on the voiced flutter as you were on the flutter with just breath? When that’s going well, seamlessly transition from a lip flutter to a vowel sound. video 3 Make sure there’s no break between the flutter and the vowel. Does the vowel sound feel just as free and engaged as the flutter? Then try fluttering your lips and merging into a simple word, with the same easy, generous feeling throughout. video 4 It’s probably best to use words that begin with vowel sounds, such as “away” or “own,” or perhaps /h/ sounds such as “hello” or “highway.”

This is how you should feel when you speak, this sense of no hiding, “You can have it all.” You can’t control how your listeners respond; you only control what you put out there in the room. So don’t fail make an impact because you didn’t give them anything to respond to. When you use only part of your voice, then they get only part of you.

By using your breath generously, allowing it to pour out of you as you speak, you engage your whole voice, and that tends to engage your whole being. Being fully in the game, you’re much more likely to make an impact.

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REDUCTIONISM: Putting All the Pieces Together

January 4th, 2012

I have an ambivalent relationship with WIRED magazine. The topics featured in each issue are always so fascinating. When I look at the cover, I get very curious. But I resist the temptation to pick it up and start reading. Because it’s all a tease.

In my experience, a WIRED article rarely delivers what the title promises. I’m always disappointed when I give in, decipher those weird unreadable page numbers, and take the time to read the content. It’s like watching a TV program where people search for ghosts in a haunted house; never half as gripping as the trailer promises.

Well, last week I picked up the January issue of WIRED and read an article called “Trials and Errors,” by Jonah Lehrer. It turned out to be a happy exception to the rule. Three paragraphs were particularly thought provoking, and hopefully the copyright gods won’t strike me dead for reprinting them here.

“This assumption—that understanding a system’s constituent parts means we also understand the causes within the system… defines modern science. In general, we believe that the so-called problem of causation can be cured by more information, by our ceaseless accumulation of facts. Scientists refer to this process as reductionism. By breaking down a process, we can see how everything fits together; the complex mystery is distilled into a list of ingredients.

“The problem with this assumption, however, is that causes are a strange kind of knowledge… although people talk about causes as if they are real facts—tangible things that can be discovered—they’re actually not at all factual… We look at X and then at Y, and invent a story about what happened in between. We can measure facts, but a cause is not a fact—it’s a fiction that helps us make sense of facts.

“The truth is, our stories about causation are shadowed by all sorts of mental shortcuts. Most of the time, these shortcuts work well enough… However, when it comes to reasoning about complex systems—say, the human body—these shortcuts go from being slickly efficient to outright misleading.

Trials and Errors, Jonah Lehrer, WIRED, January 2012, pp. 105-106.

I see this all the time in the field of presentation skills training. People assume that by observing successful presentations and breaking them down into the smallest components they can come up with a list of ingredients, the recipe for a great speech. The result is something lifeless and mechanical or so bloody complicated it has no hope of practical application.

Communication is complex. No matter how much skill and experience we bring to the process, there will always be an element of mystery involved. We can only keep reinforcing the fundamentals and exploring what it means to be fully engaged and fully available, connected to our self, our message and our audience.

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VOCAL FRY: Get Out of the Gravel

December 7th, 2011

One of the qualities I look for, in a good voice, is clarity of tone. I want to hear a voice that’s free of noise (e.g. breathiness, hoarseness, wheeziness). One of the most common sources of noise is vocal fry, or glottal fry. That’s the slightly raspy, scratchy or gravelly quality that often sneaks in at the ends of phrases. It’s called vocal fry, because it sounds a bit like food sizzling in a frying pan.

Tension, a lack of breath support—or both, usually cause vocal fry in the speaking voice. Speaking at a pitch that’s too low for the voice can also cause it. So you’ll often hear fry on downward inflection, when pitch falls below frequencies in the normal range.

Vocal fry is a common trait in the untrained speaking voice. While it’s not considered pathology, it does have consequences for your effectiveness as a speaker. It causes your voice to feel irritated and fatigued over time. People find it difficult to listen to your voice due to the rough quality. And perhaps most importantly, you diminish the impact and effectiveness of your message, because the tone of your voice makes listeners feel you’re pulling back and not fully committed to what you’re saying. So how do you eliminate vocal fry in your voice?

The first strategy is, you guessed it, breathing. Learning to breathe deeply and fully before speaking, and releasing breath generously during delivery will provide power to engage your vocal folds fully and get rid of vocal fry. Just 15-20 minutes of coaching often noticeably increases tonal clarity. (Of course, such a brief period of exercise doesn’t change the habits that created vocal fry in the first place.)

Another strategy for eliminating vocal fry is supporting the ends of phrases. As you approach the end of a phrase or sentence, your breath is tapering off and the inflection of your voice is dropping. All of that is quite natural, but those tendencies conspire to rob your voice of the energy needed to vibrate fully. As a result, words at the end of the phrase lose tone, get scratchy and sometimes become inaudible. Then listeners have a problem understanding what you’ve said. As you’re speaking, notice whether your voice is as strong and resonant on the last word as it was on the first word. Make sure your listeners hear the last word as easily as the first.

Raising the pitch of your voice, very slightly, will often make your tone stronger and clearer, eliminating vocal fry. Your speaking voice operates a lot more efficiently in the middle of your range than it does at the bottom of your range. So practice starting sentences a tiny bit higher than your habit dictates. The change need not be noticeable to your listeners, but you’ll feel a big difference. The funny thing is, you’ll often get more deep resonance in your tone by moving into the middle of your range.

Start eliminating vocal fry by practicing breathing techniques, speaking in the middle of your range and supporting the ends of phrases. Your tone will improve, as well as the comfort and stamina of your voice. Best of all, as you engage your voice fully, you engage your self fully and ultimately engage your listeners.

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FREEDOM VS FORMULISM: From Mechanical to Mastery

December 2nd, 2011

I’m starting to realize there’s a pattern to the majority of questions people ask about public speaking and presentation. We’re looking for simple solutions to complicated issues.

That’s a problem. Communication is complex. After all, it’s about human interaction. And we all have enough experience to know that anything related to humans takes complication to a whole new level!

But humans also prefer certainty and simplicity. We don’t like things to be complex and iffy. So we constantly come up with rules, manuals and prescriptions to guide us through the chaos. We look for for tips and tricks that are guaranteed to work in every situation.

But rules never cover every possibility. So we make more. Pretty soon, the rules just add to the confusion and complexity.

Formulism is defined as a strict adherence to prescribed forms. It shows up in art, religion, ethics—even in math. And maybe it’s okay, even necessary, for beginners. The trouble is, prescription creates rigidity. We get up tight trying to remember and obey all the rules. We become disconnected, focused on doing it right, rather than being present to what’s actually happening. In this respect, formulism stifles peak performance rather than promoting it.

Can you see how this relates to presentation and public speaking?

The antidote is Freedom. We must accept that communication is complex and the outcomes uncertain. It’s not for dabblers and slackers. We must work to develop concrete skills rather than manufacturing end results. Instead of making up rules for eye contact, we should be cultivating our ability to be engaged, open and connected to our listeners.

Bringing crucial skills to the interaction, trusting we have what it takes and allowing ourselves to be aware and present, we can apply our skills in unique ways that are highly relevant to the situation. That’s true expertise.

When we commit to the way of freedom, in communication, we discover a sense of confidence and serenity. We’re not trying to be perfect, but effective. We become present for our listeners, projecting a sense of, “I get you.” We bring enhanced creativity and spontaneity to the situation. And we communicate with greater relevance and ultimately more impact.

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STAYING POWER: Cultivating Vocal Stamina

November 7th, 2011

I recently did a consultation with someone who worked as a corporate trainer, so she spoke frequently, for extended periods of time. She reported that her voice was usually gone by the end of the day, sore, raspy and almost inaudible.

What’s happening here? The most likely cause is that she’s overworking her voice, and that can happen in two ways. The most obvious possibility is that she’s consciously trying to “speak up” and “project” her voice, so she ends up pushing and straining. The muscles of the voice are not big, strong muscles, so they don’t perform well under a lot of pressure and fatigue quickly under those conditions.

Another culprit can be unconscious tension. Muscular tension creates resistance on your voice, much like friction creates resistance for moving parts in a machine. You have to exert more force to overcome that resistance and that wears on your voice.

One very common source of unconscious tension is the tongue. Many speakers unconsciously pull their tongue back and down every time they make a sound. The tongue is a fairly large muscle, especially in comparison to your vocal folds, which are about the size of your thumbnail. When your tongue pulls back and down, it’s like an elephant sitting on a mouse. It becomes a lot harder for your vocal folds to vibrate under those conditions, so you have to use more force to overcome that pressure. Once again, your vocal folds quickly fatigue and become irritated.

So what’s the right way to cultivate vocal stamina? To paraphrase Kristin Linklater, the strength of the voice does not lie in muscular effort, but in breath and resonance. You’re a wind instrument. Your voice is powered by breath. To find more voice, you must move more breath. (The tricky part is doing that without tension.) At some level, everyone knows this, but few people have actually experienced real breath support, as it relates to speaking.

While breath is the power of your voice, resonance is the amplification. Resonance takes the small buzz produced by your vocal folds and expands it into the unique sound that is your voice. In a perfect world, you want every open space and every square inch of your body vibrating with the sound of your voice. That way, you spread the effort around, rather than making your vocal folds do all the work. Not only do you strengthen your voice, you also make it deeper, richer and more expressive.

There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to speak all day, in a fairly large room, without frying your voice. You accomplish that by making sure your breath is doing all the work and your whole body is acting as a giant sounding board. In this way, you produce the maximum amount of sound with a minimum of effort. Your voice easily fills the space without you feeling as though you’re yelling. Your listeners are drawn into the experience because you are fully engaged, fully available and powerfully present.

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SAY AH! Finding More Space

September 23rd, 2011

You wouldn’t believe how often I see people who don’t open their mouths enough, when they speak. Yeah, I can hear you saying, “Gimme a break! My grandmother could have come up with that.” But the consequences of this pervasive little habit are quite profound, including

  • Weak voice- because less breath flows out when your mouth isn’t open far enough
  • Mumbling- because speech sounds get distorted being squeezed through your teeth
  • Speaking too fast- because your tongue can move really fast when your jaw isn’t moving
  • Lacking credibility- Have you ever heard someone say, “He’s lying through his teeth!”

What can you do about it? The best approach would involve jaw relaxation exercises, and that’s what I recommend. But since most people just want to jump to the result, here’s what I suggest. Look in a mirror. Normally, you want to have at least one finger-width of space between your upper and lower teeth, on average. Some sounds will be even more open, some less. But on average, a finger-width.

For practice, you should go for two finger-widths. Very open. Use a mirror. The visual confirmation of openness is very important. You’ll be surprised at how easily your mouth starts to close up. If you’re not watching, you don’t even know it.

Start with single words, such as “spa,” “fad” and “high.” When that isn’t so hard, move to phrases, such as “father’s spa,” or “jazz lab,” or “fly high.” When you have the feel of that, try sentences, such as, “My father travels in style,” making sure you’ve got a least a thumb-width of space between your teeth, on the stressed vowel sounds. When sentences are easy, try reading paragraphs in front of a mirror. Remember, you’re looking for an average of one finger-width of space between your teeth. When that doesn’t feel so strange, try speaking with more openness in everyday conversations.

If you haven’t been speaking with a relaxed sense of openness, this might feel very strange and unnatural. You’re not used to allowing sounds to emerge from your body with so much space. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong; it’s just different. So play with it until the feeling is familiar, until it feels like you.

When you are able to speak in public with a relaxed sense of openness around your mouth and jaw, you will reap some significant benefits.

  • Your voice will be stronger- more openness leads to more breath support
  • Your articulation will be clearer- more openness encourages more precision
  • You will speak at a relaxed pace- more openness means your jaw has to move a bit further, slowing you down
  • You will appear strong, confident and credible- take my word for it

Those are all major elements of successful communication—and all have a connection to opening your mouth. You know I hate gimmicks, shortcuts and superficial techniques, but this is something that anyone can understand. And it’s not hard to practice. So open up!

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THAT BODY-VOICE CONNECTION: Finding the Magic

September 19th, 2011

Well, it happened again, this morning. I was in the middle of a consultation, comparing someone’s before-and-after speech samples. After just 15-20 minutes of work, the person’s voice sounded, well, personal. Same words as before, but a completely different experience for the listener. Beyond the words being spoken, I could hear the person behind the voice. The effect was rich, engaging, and powerful.

The human connection makes communication alive and powerful. Time and again, in my own office, I’ve heard clients produce simple sounds such as “hay”, “hoe” or “huh”, with such openness, such authenticity that it makes the hairs stand up on my arms. It’s as though the sounds become alive. It’s like I can hear the person behind the sound, even though they’re not using words and sentences. I believe this dynamic has potential to raise ordinary communication to extraordinary levels. It’s the difference between your listeners understanding what you’re saying and being moved by what you’re saying.

And the cool thing is that it starts right in your body. You don’t get that result by pretending, or trying to make it happen. You just cultivate the right conditions at a physical level. If you find that grounded, open, engaged state of being, it will happen, naturally, effortlessly and authentically. You will be compelling.

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